El Loco Llegar

Thoughts
 

Wall

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Wall 2.jpg

The "Wall" is a term I am using within the context of personal achievement and consequent discovery, as one proceeds along the road of life toward the elusive yet often highly sought after goals.

All paths involve meeting and confronting twists, turns, changes, detours, obstacles, and other difficulties in the form of exterior forces and perhaps inner observations about the proper course to follow, how to handle the difficulties, whether it is worth it, and all the ideas, thoughts, questions, conflicts, doubts, and discoveries that occur along the way.

Some are easily overcome, avoided, pushed aside, or incorporated into the mission or goal, all of which either strengthen the commitment to proceed, or cause one to question the wisdom of continuing.  This is the nature of journeys, if one is aware and cognizant of what is happening along the way, and not simply floating along aimlessly.  And likely that happens anyway.

Much can be learned about one's Self by the way those obstacles, opportunities, or victories are taken inside, and how they strengthen or erode one's volition and perspective.  For many, the journey is the important part, for others, the result is what is desired, or none, or both.

The game can change, courses can be corrected, paths can be modified, and goals can change.  Movement may be forward, sideways, backward, yet what always remains is the path, by definition.  And so the path can be seen as the future, the present, or the past, and still amount to the same thing.

Detours, backtracking, changing course, and changing goals can also be part of the process, depending on the value systems and inner definition of the goal, purpose, or desired end result.  Quite often the journey can be realized to be the destination, once what has been sought is achieved, but not likely before that, at least in my experience.

Given all that, why go forward?  The answer to that is all up to the one who journeys, based on his own choice and definition, and is supported and made real and tangible by the commitment and dedication of the traveler along the path he or she has chosen, or in some cases, along whatever alternate or diverging path happens to come along while  proceeding along the original way. There is a substantial amount of written thought about that particular opportunity that illuminates the process.

On a personal note, I have experienced, and continue to experience, all of the above.  I encounter that in some form almost daily, depending on how cognizant I am about what passes for thought in this sometimes weary and occasionally frightened head of mine.   Yet when I step back, put it all in context, and take a broader view, it really does not matter.   It is all the same, all the same struggle, effort, victory, or defeat, and always with the same excitement or fear or anger or elation, expressed differently, and with widely differing results.

Recently, while on a walk with Giordi, and being in a somewhat tired, forlorn, almost depressed state, it occurred to me that I had indeed struck "the wall" and I could literally go no further, physically or metaphorically.  That is, I had a realization that it all was to no avail, did not matter, had no impact, and was not important, and was only an expenditure of needless energy.  And so I thought I should just give up, sit down to rest, and stop moving forward toward nothing.

In other words, I should just give up, roll over, and die, at least metaphorically, and perhaps ultimately even actually.

I toyed with those thoughts, looked over at Giordi, who was looking at me with that quizzical look of his (I interpret that look in various ways, depending on my mood, and he likely has the same question always:  "Why can't we keep moving toward more adventures?").

Yet that is not what we are, as the "human" part of the animal kingdom, since it seems to be in our DNA, or ordained by God, however you want to view it, that we are predestined to always seek more, better, and different, and to explore the frontiers of thought and body.  That innate curiosity has brought us to where we are today, including the "good" and the "bad" which are simply our labels for universal experiences that we all share.

And so, I came to the conclusion that getting up and proceeding once again would be appropriate, reinforced by Giordi's quizzical look and seeming prompting on his part to continue on to the next adventure, and on and on, until it ceases.  And so we did, and we shall repeat it, until whatever comes next arrives.

And so that is life on the prairie, as Garrison Keillor of "Prairie Home Companion" fame might famously say.  So simple, so profound, so difficult, so easy, always and forever.

Today, we both came back to a different area, thinking the climb would be easier; and guess what!   It was even more difficult.  (See below.)

And so it goes, on the prairie, and I feel connected in my solitude, to my great surprise.

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